


gently play on your heart strings

by merriell



Series: antarlina (e) [9]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Complicated Sibling Relationships, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Reno is a manipulative bastard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 05:19:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19940854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merriell/pseuds/merriell
Summary: 2023. Kinan got an unexpected visitor when he was alone at Reno's, it turned to be Reno's sister that he never met before. They talked. Some things got out.





	gently play on your heart strings

Kinan woke up in an empty bed from the muted sound of doorbell. The tanned man squinted at the white ceiling, unable to grasp where he was, and why his doorbell didn’t sound like his, when he realized that he wasn’t home. The sheets smelled like cotton and Reno, although the owner had been away for awhile. He wasn’t quite _proud_ of insisting to stay, but he wanted to, despite the continuous ringing of unfamiliar sound that came from the front door.

He didn’t frown often, but his mood had been dark after his fight with his boyfriend. The digital clock beside the bed showed that it’s 3 am, people shouldn’t be visiting in this kind of hour, and he might even think that it was wrong, but a glance on Reno’s phone beside it confirmed that it was 3:14. A normal person would be furious, suspicious, or even jealous, at the possibility that their lover might have late night visitors. But Kinan knew Reno, knew how he looked at him, and trusted him enough to only feel the annoyance of having his sleep disturbed when he walked to the front door.

Expectations were useless—he didn’t exactly have an inkling of who Reno associated himself with, besides their mutual friends and his work friends. His mind soured at the thought of Angga’s teasing threats, but calmed when he reminded himself of Gabriel. 

When a younger woman glared at him when he pulled the door open, though, he was a little surprised.

The first thing that he realized was how much she looked like Reno. Her features were softer, with lithe body but heavy dark circles, her hair a mess of a bird’s nest on top of her head. There was nothing resembling family pictures, or even pictures of people that weren’t the two of them, but Kinan known at once that this was Reno’s younger sister. They had talked about his family before, but Reno said that they weren’t accepting of his sexuality and Kinan had no reason to pry further, so he’d never met any of them, though he’s heard of his family by association.

Thinking about it, Reno never even mentioned his sister’s name, although Kinan knew her, from all the _rumours_ he heard from people in parties, but he’s never the type to gossip. So he didn’t really believe that.

“Reihana?” he asked when she stood still on the entrance.

“Uh, who the _fuck are_ … oh, shit. I know who you are.” She bit her lower lip and peered inside. “Where’s that bastard?”

Kinan shouldn’t be surprised by the fact that she knew who he was, but he still flinched. Yes, his face was everywhere these days, as his career was starting to soar and teenagers tend to note how attractive he was in comparison to other politicians, but his relationship with Reno had been strictly business in public’s eye. He was his publicist, and a good one at that. But Kinan hadn’t officially came out publicly, though everyone basically knew already, and he knew that would affect his career.

Which was why their relationship was still secret. 

He hoped Reihana would think he was just visiting, but it was 3 am, he looked like he just slept, there was only one room in that apartment, _and_ Reno was nowhere to be found. 

“Uh,” he tried. He was supposed to be someone eloquent, but right then he was slightly losing ability to speak. To lie. “Reno isn’t here,” he decided at last. “Look, I shouldn’t even be here—“

“I don’t care that you’re dating him, alright?” Hana snapped before he could finish. “Look, man, I’m not exactly _straight_ myself, and I know you’re not really out yet. I just need my brother. Do you know where he is?”

It was supposed to be a reassurance, but it did nothing to calm Kinan’s nerves. Instead, he was struck by the sheer realization that Reno had not been telling him everything. He told him before that his family had been homophobic. He didn’t mention a queer sister, which wasn’t exactly a _lie_. Kinan took a deep sigh before he stepped away from the door, gesturing her to come in. He trusted Reno, so he would wait to talk to him about this rather than overthinking about something he didn’t have all the information of.

“Reihana? Let’s talk inside,” he said, when Reihana only stared.

“It’s _Hana_.”

 _Hana_. A nickname similar to her brother, only picking up the two syllables of their first name. She walked in, and Kinan only noticed then that she was barefoot, reeking alcohol and another thing he didn’t want to explain why he knew. He never consumed it, but Giri always did when they were still at high school, and she reeked of it, despite seemingly being sober.

She took a seat on the loveseat in the living room and stared at him. “So, where’s my piece of shit brother?”

“I don’t actually know,” Kinan sighed, remembering the fight between them. It hadn’t been severe, but it was getting bad. Not as bad as the fight that went between Anta and Giri, of course, but he’d always like to think he could solve a problem before it escalated into another thing. “We fought earlier and he left.”

“Yeah, he’s not exactly a gentleman.”

They were silent for a while, before Kinan decided that he was getting tired of standing. He sat beside her and watched her as she restlessly fidgeted. “Look, I know it’s rude, but I have to ask,” he started, worrying rather than curious, “are you high?”

The question seemed to be a surprise. She didn’t seem to be bothered, just laughed, as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Unfortunately no, but I was an hour ago.” She said it so casually she might as well been talking about something more casual. He knew that she was his sister’s age, and he was grateful, quietly, that her Melbourne-bound sister seemed to be satisfied on drinking and never taking drugs. Yet, the fact made him associate Hana with Kinanti, and it worried him that she seemed out of it. “I just—I just need my brother to tell my parents that I was with him for the night. Didn’t want to come home looking like this, you know?”

She was right. She looked like a mess. Kinan was too polite to say it, but she looked fucked up.

“Come home like this often?” he asked as he leaned back to the chair.

“Quite.”

“Scolded?”

“Every time.”

“I get it, I was like that, too.”

She snorted back a laugh. “Really? No way. You seem like a priss.”

It was an _image_ , of course, Kinan Mahardhika, whose hobby was sport, who used to be a basketball star and the head of student council, but it was an honest image, albeit it didn’t say everything. He of course dabbled on underage drinking in his time, but who didn’t? His school’s rules were pretty loose. He didn’t publicly advertised the fact that he’s been drinking since he was fourteen, but he lived in Bali with parents that were pretty liberal and had a robotic alcohol cellar on the basement.

“Oh of course,” he said. “I wasn’t exactly a nerd.”

“Of course not, basketball star. My brother was, though.”

“What?”

“A nerd.”

“I met him at high school, once. He didn’t look like a nerd,” his mind fled to their first meeting. Sometimes he could feel the cold in his hand and the shade of the tree above his head. “He seemed pretty strait-laced though. In a handsome way.”

“God, you’re whipped, huh?”

“Oh, shut it.”

The air was relaxed, and the company welcomed after he being on his own for the last couple of hours. He realized that he didn’t need to sleep on his own often after dating Reno. Reno seemed like he always knew when to come, when to meet him, when to ask him over at times when he was too tired or in need of a hug. It was why Kinan fell in love, really; the acts of service that he didn’t even need to ask. He replied as best as he could, but sometimes he felt like it wasn’t enough. 

There was a wall between them, something that had been noted even by Anta, who was supposed to be the most oblivious out of the four of them. _He’s hiding something_ , Giri used to say, before he finally decided to suddenly get along with Reno. _Do you even know anything about him_?

He knew enough, he said.

He trusted him, that should be enough.

Yet, these days the secrets between them choked him. He wanted to push and ask, figure out why Reno had snapped earlier when he mentioned his work. But as always, Reno clammed up, and Kinan thought that asking around—or _searching_ for any semblance of information—seemed like violating Reno’s privacy. He knew, though, something happened between them, because it was the first time Reno showed such harsh emotions in front of him.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve seen him smile as much as he does after he met you.”

Somehow, he thought that she fell asleep, because she didn’t make any sound before, that he was startled to find her talking again. The subject had startled him further. Reno always smiled in front of him. Easy, soft, gentle, genuine—he didn’t really pay attention how he behaved with other people, but they had come to a point where Reno smiled at Anta and Giri.

“Well, he smiled often before, when he was at high school, but after what happened, he just didn’t. I’m really glad that he met you. He was angry, all the time, after what happened.” Hana paused as she lifted her foot to rest on the coffee table, almost knocking over the stacks of magazine off the table. “I don’t think he wanted to—not that I blame him, I don’t think he wanted to be a publicist. He used to, I don’t know, obsess over getting into UI, he wanted to be a lawyer like Abi.”

This was a new information for Kinan. “He didn’t get in?”

Hana frowned, her words dripping of annoyance. “ _No_ , he got in. He was… he had top marks, of course he did, and he was my father’s _son_ , of course he did. It’s just that, the expulsion shocked everyone.”

It was Kinan’s turn to frown. “He was _expelled_?”

A realization dawned on Hana’s face. She pushed herself away from him, making an unreachable distance between them as she was half-seated on the armrest. She covered her mouth. “ _You_ don’t know about this. Shit. He’ll fucking kill me. Why would he hide it from you? Why don’t you know? Everyone _does_.”

“Look, Hana, calm down. What happened? I wasn’t around—I wasn’t here during college, I was at Bali, so I don’t exactly know the in-and-out, the gossip on here.”

“It’s not a gossip,” she shook her head. “Oh, what the hell, I already said it, you might as well _know_. No one really talked about it these days, Abi made sure of that, but my brother—“

The door was slammed open. Hana and Kinan both froze, slowly turning to the dark silhouette that filled the door. Reno stood at the doorway, his face calm as always, but the exact time of his arrival had shocked Kinan. Besides him, though, Hana didn’t seem shocked. She was just _scared_.

“Hana. I thought I told you not to come here.” His voice was ice cold, something that Kinan wasn’t used of. Reno never talked like that to him, even to Giri, like he loathed who he was talking to, felt it dripping over the calmness of his expression. It betrayed it. It made him seem scary.

Kinan had never been scared of Reno before, but right then, he was.

Hana’s jaw tightened. Her fear left her face, turning into a fire, a rebellious stance, _defensive_. She pushed herself to stand. “Not my fault you didn’t pick up my calls. Look, I’ll leave, Ill just need you to tell Ummi that I wasn’t high—”

“It’s none of my business what your mother thinks,” and Kinan didn’t miss it, the way he said _your_ instead of _our_. “You need to go back home.”

“ _Ren_.”

“I don’t _care_ ,” for a second, his voice was raised.

Hana, however, wasn’t interested in backing down. “What, and leave you to play house with _him_?” Kinan understood what she was doing at once. She had smelled his weakness and was trying to use it to her advantage. It was admirable, in face of a figurative block of _ice_ that was staring daggers at her. “Missed the way you’re hiding your past? No way, big bro. Either you tell Ummi I was sober, or I’m telling _him_.”

The threat had been useless, of course. Kinan had smelled the wind of Reno’s secrets, and he’d ask, regardless of whether Hana tells him or not.

It seemed like an eternity as the two of them fell into a staring match. Reno was the one who finally broke it, pushing the door closed behind him. “What a _pity.”_ He murmured, sounding sombre, all of the sudden. “What a pity that your pictures have already been circulating, right?”

Kinan frowned. His brows furrowed. _Pictures_?

As if in cue, something buzzed from Hana’s pocket. She glared at him for a moment, but the buzz was insistent. Without taking her eyes off him, she pulled out her iPhone from her pocket. When she looked down, Kinan could literally see the blood leaving her face. 

“What’s going on?” Kinan asked, but Reno didn’t so much as glance at him, and Hana was too busy trembling in panic to answer.

“You better leave,” Reno told her. “You better leave before it turns messier.”

She looked back at Kinan. There was pity on her eyes then, tears starting to come out, but she stubbornly held it back. “God, you deserve so much better than _him_ ,” poison filled her words as she walked away, bumping her shoulder harsh against Reno’s as she did. The door slammed behind her, leaving the two of them alone, Reno still standing near the door, and Kinan staring at him in disbelief.

“What was _that_?” He asked Reno, feeling his voice rising, despite the fact that he was really, really trying not to be angry.

Reno simply looked away from him. “My sister is a druggie,” he shrugged. “Her pictures from her party just happened to be received by our parents. They called me at work and asked where she was, told me they were going to submit her to rehab, or something.”

“Did you send it?”

“How can I send it? My phone is on our room.”

He was right. Kinan saw it near the clock. “We were talking about you. She was telling me how you were expelled from UI, and you just happen to walk in when that happened?”

Reno turned to him with a brow raised. “You were? I don’t know, I just arrived. It’s a coincidence.”

“It’s definitely _not_ a fucking coincidence!”

The curse was unexpected. Kinan didn’t curse often, but his rage was getting the better of him. He closed his eyes tightly and breathed in, counted, until he calmed down. When he opened his eyes, Reno was sitting across of him, staring at him with gentle eyes, and it was hard to match the Reno he knew with the person that talked to his sister earlier.

“Raka,” he started.

“Don’t.”

“I can explain.”

“ _Don’t_. You said that your family don’t accept you, and that’s why I’ve never met them—“

“I can explain if you let me.”

“It better be the truth, Ren,” he sighed, feeling himself calming, despite it all. He couldn’t cry. If he cried, his entire family would know, and he didn’t want anyone to know that he had a steady boyfriend just yet; it wasn’t like his family didn’t accept him, it was just that they tend to be _obnoxious_ about who he was dating. “‘Cause I can’t handle you lying. I need you to tell me what happened.“

Reno approached him. Kinan felt the warmth of his fingers closing on his hands, and felt himself calming down. They stared for a moment. Reno left a chaste kiss on his forehead. Kinan wanted badly to be angry, to push him away, but he was scared that it would only made Reno pull away from him and leave.

He didn’t.

“I’ll tell you,” he said. “I was expelled because I fell in love with the wrong person, and he turned out to be… he outed me, long story short. I was so upset, my father decided to not help, he said it was my fault, so I… I was angry, so I assaulted that person, and he pressed charges and I was expelled. I don’t know how to put it in a light where you can see that, that’s not me. I was just very angry and I regret it.”

Kinan felt like vomiting. “No,” he said, softly, pulling Reno into a hug. “You… he probably deserved it.”

“I went through therapy after that, and I dealt with it. I just… don’t want you to see me like I’m a bad person.”

Reno sounded so upset that Kinan was getting upset at himself. It was uncomfortable to see him with such emotions. Reno always seemed like a wall, holding him up; he was _strong_ , Kinan didn’t even need to be the one who supported him. Right then, though, he was understanding why Reno didn’t want to tell him. Truthfully, Hana didn’t even sound like she blamed him for the accident. 

There was still a nagging feeling on his throat, though, but Kinan couldn’t really pinpoint _why_.

“No, you’re right, he deserved it,” Reno said, his calm returning. He tucked his chin on Kinan’s shoulder and breathed in. “He managed to get a restraining order, though.”

“Who even is this guy?”

“It’s,” Reno paused, like he was searching for the right words. “It doesn’t matter who he is. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

It wasn’t a request, it was a _statement_. Kinan was used to that. But Reno opening up like this was a big step, so he didn’t want to push until he was ready.

“That’s fine,” Kinan breathed in his smell. “Just don’t leave like earlier, I was… worried.”

“I was at work, told you, had to sign some documents at work,” Reno explained without him asking.

“Don’t lie again,” Kinan murmured. “You know I don’t like it.”

“I don’t think anyone likes being lied at.”

They settled on a comfortable silence, just letting their warmth radiate from each other, before Reno had enough, and lifted him up, bridal style and all. Kinan couldn’t resist the laugh. He was muscular, definitely heavier than Reno, while Reno was all bones and slender muscles, so he didn’t know how he could pick him up, but he appreciated it, every time.

“It’s Sunday,” Reno smiled at him. “Let’s stay in bed tomorrow.”

Kinan couldn’t resist. He kissed him for a moment. “Yeah, great idea,” he murmured against his lips.

As Reno carried him to bed, though, he couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling in his stomach. He remembered their first meeting, Reno knowing that he was thirsty, the _I just know_ , how Giri always used to say _he’s hiding something, his aura is really dark_ , and the way that Reno had treated his sister.

The feeling stayed until morning.


End file.
